ROUTINE DRUG TESTS

Routine drug tests carried out on this season's F9000 pilots have produced some interesting results. Analysis of compounds found in the pilots' urine reveals that 15 per cent of them enjoy chocolate snacks at least three times a day; 36 per cent wash under their arms only twice a week; while a staggering 92 per cent of them cannot pee while being watched by a scientist. A spokesman for the Chocolate Marketing Board said the findings were "promising".






OFFICIAL F9000 THEME SONG OF 2160
ROUTINE DRUG TESTS
ROBERTO SERGIOS SECRETS REVEALED
THE WAR OF WORDS CONTINUES
NEW F9000 SPONSORSHIP ANNOUNCED
TIGRONS MAD 3 DAY PARTY
BROADWAY HIT 'EARTH SUCKS'
VAN-UBER PILOT MOBBED BY TEENAGE GIRLS
OMARR KHUMALA REWARDED FOR VIOLENCE
FEISAR RECRUITS BABY PILOTS
JEALOUSY IN THE FEISAR TEAM
ROBERTO SERGIO'S NEW SINGLE
F9000 CULTURE OF EXPLOITATION
NAOMI TURNER FAILS TIGRON TRANSFER
'IDIOTS ON PARADE' - THE YEAR OF F9000
VAN UBER PLAGUED BY TECHNICAL PROBLEMS
CLUES TO NAMI MISHIMA'S ASSASSIN
WILL SONGEN GREY RETIRE?
NEW VAN UBER TOILETRIES
CELBRATIONS FOR OFFICIAL COMPLAINTS AGAINST TIGRON
BATTLE OF THE PARTIES
SVETA KIROVOSKI'S SHADY PAST